Good leaders are cautious of their actions; they avoid making rash decisions at all costs. But good leaders must also be careful with their language.
Words can shape perception. Language can have a tremendous effect on the mood and productivity of employees. Workplace culture is a fragile thing; it can be damaged for a long time with a quick turn of phrase.
It boils down to word choice. You don’t want to offend or hurt whoever is listening. But this isn’t just about playing it safe, either. Words must go the extra mile to encourage, motivate, and (at times) criticize.
In short, you’re walking a fine line.
“Words matter,” says Darlene Price, president of Well Said, Inc. and author of Well Said! Presentations and Conversations That Get Results. “They are a key component of persuasive communication,” she adds. “Regardless of the audience, topic, or industry, or whether the setting is a stand-up presentation, sit-down conversation, telephone discussion, or an online meeting, a leader uses language to influence someone’s mind in order to achieve a certain result. That’s one reason they’re seen as leaders; their words compel people to follow.”
Sometimes, it’s more about what you don’t say than what you do say. Here are a few words that, as a leader, should never come out of your mouth:
1. “I don’t have time.”
Even if you’re busy, you’re not supposed to appear so busy that you can’t speak with your employees. An effective leader will always find time to aid in the growth and development of their employees.
Price says, “Be intentional about giving them your undivided attention, coaching, and support.” She adds that an effective manager will always have the growth and development of employees as a top priority.
2. “You all.”
You might have seen this at some point: A leader addressing their group “as a package”. But instead of giving “shotgun feedback”, a great leader talks to individuals.
For instance, rather than saying, “You all need to be more watchful of project deadlines”, an effective leader would identify the employee(s) who have been consistently late sending their reports and address each of them individually. Sending a blanket email to the team only makes it worse. Someone somewhere is thinking, “But I always send in my work in time, why am I being addressed about lateness?” They might feel unappreciated. On the other side, the person who really needs addressing may believe lateness is a “company problem”.
3. “Try.”
Effective leadership is also about instilling confidence in employees, making them know that you believe in them and would never assign a task they are incapable of completing.
If there’s one word that could really go against this is “try”. Telling an employee to try and do something gives them an option: They can either do it or try and fail. It tells them you yourself aren’t sure the task is doable––at least not by them.
Speaking to Business Insider, Price says, “The word ‘try’ implies the possibility it may not get finished.”
Employees believe that if you gave them a certain task, it’s because you believe they can do it. Don’t water down that confidence with “try”.
As the wise Yoda said, “Do, or do not. There is no try.”
4. “I’m the boss.”
How much of a king is a king that has to tell others he’s king? Labels and titles are just that. Justifying your requests with “because I’m boss” only questions your credibility as a boss. Instead, tell people why the task you’re asking them to do is important. Let them know you’ll work with them to ensure it’s done well.
After all, this quote from Margaret Thatcher says it best: “Power is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.”
5. “X does it better.”
Another big mistake you can make as a leader is comparing your employees. Yes, you can give praise where it’s due. However, saying, “so and so does it better” as an attempt to motivate an employee only ends up making things worse.
According to Price, “Contrasting one employee against another is likely to elicit shame, envy, and resentment. Focus instead on what this employee can do differently to get a better result.”
6. “No feedback for now.”
Of course, you have some feedback to give. An employee might be doing a great job, maybe even teaching you a few things. But there’s always some kind of input you can give to make their job better next time. So, don’t just say “everything is perfect.” Employees want to know what you think about their job and “perfect” won’t resonate with everyone.
Granted, sometimes you just have praise for a person. In this case, let them know exactly what you liked about their last project.
A 2014 Harvard Business Review study found that 57% of employees want to receive negative feedback. 43% only want to hear positive feedback. If you do it right, you can ensure the 43% appreciate negative feedback as much as they do positive.
Giving criticism will also make it easier for employees to perceive your feedback as credible and recognize your authority.
Choose Your Words Carefully
As a leader, what you say out loud deeply impacts those around you. Thus, your language should eliminate all motivation killers like the ones mentioned above and include words and phrases that inspire positivity and productivity in your people. As Mark Twain says, “The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter––‘tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”
Choosing the right words might seem like another major item added to your daily to-do list but it’s really all about practice. With practice, the right words will naturally come out of you.